That is the question I have been asking myself the past few weeks. You see, I thought I knew what “crazy faith” was. I thought I knew how to handle “crazy faith” and I thought I was still practicing it. Little did I know I was going through motions and not really experiencing it at all anymore. How I Lost My Crazy Faith And Now I Need It Back!
You see, my faith is my rock and the rock on which I stand. I live and breathe it…. But, do I really?
These are the thoughts I was thinking the last few weeks. The thoughts that came into my mind day-in and day-out. The thoughts that were consuming me, because I felt so dry and stale. My faith wasn’t where I wanted and where it needed to be, so I thought. All I have ever heard is: God will meet you at your faith level. So, my immediate thoughts were: well, crap I am doomed. I won’t have anything then. Cause my faith blows!!!!
How I Lost My Crazy Faith And Now I Need It Back
When Chris and I first got married we had “crazy faith”. I mean, geez, we only knew each other for three weeks before we were engaged. If that wasn’t faith, I don’t know what is. But, it is like I tell everyone… I just knew he was the one. I had a sense of peace about it like I hadn’t before. I sought God and knew Chris was the one I had been looking for. I knew God had big plans for us.
How bout when Chris and I had “crazy faith” on our last move. Here is how it went down…..
Our builder could only build our house in a certain timeframe, so Chris and I knew we had to move fast. But, (here is the kicker) our house that we were living in, at the time, was not selling. We were desperate. We knew that this was the right move for us. We knew by selling this house and building a new house that we would get out of debt faster, that we would have a little more financial freedom. No brainer, right?! But, when the builder could only build our new house in a certain timeframe and our (then) house hadn’t sold, it didn’t look promising at all! We had to have “crazy faith”. We jumped on it and did it! It was crazy, but we did it. I remember someone even called us “ballzy” at the time. But it wasn’t “ballzy”, it was faith! God knew what we needed and why we were doing it. He wanted us to have more financial freedom. Did we think about having two mortgages! Lawd, yes, but we weren’t scared, because we sought God and knew it was the right thing. He gave us peace about it! We had “crazy faith”! And you know what? The closing on our old home and moving into our new home overlapped by a month. It all worked out in the right timing without Chris and I struggling one ounce. Why? Again, because we sought God, He gave us peace and had “crazy faith”.
Or how bout the time we were blessed with twins. Our family grew by two at one time. We had our struggles and our doubts, believe me, but we never lost faith. We never once wondered how we were going to make it. Why? Because we sought God and we had “crazy faith”. We weren’t financially stable at the time and we were barely making it and we just had one child, then here comes two more. Did we question what God was doing, heck yes, we are human! But, we never once lost faith! I am proud to say we are all still standing. My kids are clothed and fed, well ya know most days. (Not counting the days we forget to put shoes on to go to the grocery store. Yeah it has happened more than I would like to count. This is real life baby!) Why? Because, we sought God, He gave us peace and we had “crazy faith”.
Or how bout when I started this blog or my other online businesses? It wasn’t easy and I had my doubts about myself, but I had peace about it. I sought God and He gave me peace. Has it been hard to put myself out there and be real with everyone. YES, YES and another YES! But, He stretches me and guides me every single day and gives me peace. I seek Him in every single move I make in my businesses, even down to this very post. I had and still have “crazy faith” when it comes to these online businesses.
Y’all I could go on and on, story after story. There are SO many, but I think you get what I am trying to convey. 🙂
My point to all of this is not to toot my own horn but, to say this:
In all of these scenarios, we sought God first and then the “crazy faith” came. We sought Him in every single one of these things. I now can see that our lives got a little clouded at times and we stopped seeking. The world got in the way and we stopped seeking. We started going through the motions and we stopped seeking. Not in everything, we were still strong in our faith, but in the little and big things in life, in the stories and journeys we wanted to change, we stopped seeking and allowing God to guide. We stopped allowing Him to do His job. We stepped in for Him and wanted control. And it was HARD! It sucked actually! It was terrible, because we took Him out of the equation.
We even started realizing the “crazy faith” we had started and some of the prayers we had started weren’t coming to pass, because we just dropped them. We stopped praying and seeking what God wanted for our journey. The “crazy faith” was gone. The peace of mind was gone.
We knew we had to get it back, but how?
As adults we make it so hard. We want the heavens to open and for God to do it for us. Eh, but that isn’t how God works is it? He wants us to put in the time and effort, because that is really how we learn, isn’t it? I mean, if you are teaching your child how to do the laundry, you don’t do it for them do you? You are there to guide them and help them, but not do it for them, right? That is how God teaches us. He guides us and shows us the way and He is there every step of the way, but only if we want Him to be.
We started doing the work. We started seeking Him and what He wanted for us again. We started praying and meditating on His word. We started remembering His promises and His ways.
Are we perfect? NO! Do we stumble? YES! Will we always? YEP! Because, we are human. But, it feels so good to know that I do not have to do life alone. I do not have to struggle on my own. I do not have to carry my burdens on my own. I can be at peace and have “crazy faith”. The world may think my faith is crazy, but God doesn’t! He gave me the heart and desire to seek what is best for my family and I, so I will hold onto my “crazy faith”, let go of control, seek God and be at peace! That my friends is the sweet spot and that my friends is where your joy is held. Right there in the “crazy faith”!
I think we might be starting to really get it now. Well, let’s just hope anyway…….
Keep Up With That Crazy Faith Of Yours Sista
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Until next time….