So I have been a mom for five years, six months and twelve days. Two years, five months and twenty-seven days ago I went from a mom of one to a mom of three. Yes, you got it, TWINS! I do have to say it has been the best and most confusing years of my life. Being a mom is a job, a very important job, too. It’s a job God calls you to do. It’s a job He doesn’t expect you to be brilliant at or even have any experience. He doesn’t want your resume or your capabilities. He just wants your desire, your desire for Him. The only thing He asks of us is to walk through motherhood with Him. He wants us to lean on Him, He wants us to use His good book, the Bible, to use as a reference guide and job manual. He wants us to seek Him through all of the trials and tribulations, cause there will be many, and through the good times. Don’t forget about Him in the good times, you still need Him then, don’t just seek Him through the bad times. Most importantly, throughout the whole process He wants you to teach your children about Him. Teach them through your actions and words. Teach them to love one another. Teach them to be kind.
I have to admit I don’t always lean on Him and teach my kids the ways of God. I get stubborn in my day in and day out everyday life. But I do know one thing, my God has grace. He has grace on mankind and in this instance mothers. He has grace on your children too. My husband, Chris, and I a long time ago, before kids, decided as long as our children are disciples of Jesus that we did our duties as parents. I pray I do it the way God wants me to and as best I know how and know God has grace when I ask for forgiveness, when I know I’ve fumbled away from Him.
So with all of that being said….. I do believe I am, somewhat, settling into motherhood after five years, six months, and twelve days. (It’s about time, right?!) I have come to realize I’m not perfect, I cannot do everything and that I need God in all I do. Even though I am a work in progress and will always be, I am learning to relax a little and I am finally….. SETTLING into motherhood.
I love my children, they mean everything to me, but it is also the exact reason why I had such a hard time at the beginning of motherhood. I love them so much I wanted to protect them from EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING. For instance, the toxins in the soap, the toxins in food, from myself yelling at them, from TV, from other people, from the world, etc., etc. You know, the works! I was making myself crazy and not enjoying them. Those of you who know me, know I am an organizer and love to have things in order. I’m still that way, the “order” is just different these days. I don’t have to have my house spotless all of the time, anymore. I let my kids watch TV, probably too much at times but, if it gets us through the day and we enjoyed it, so what!! I’m still a stickler about eating well and as toxin free as possible but, I know this is real life and sometimes “toxins” are just easier. (That sounds terrible, I know!) I still want to protect my kids from people and even from myself and my husband, at times, cause let’s be honest, we all say things that “sting”, not only to our kids but to each other. But, I have learned those “stings” are life lessons and allows us to lean on God, helps us grow stronger in our faith. As far as forgiving myself for allowing those “stings” to come from my mouth, honestly I still have a hard time with that but, I do know at the end of the day I always ask my Lord to forgive me as well as my children’s’ forgiveness. That’s where the grace comes in, He as well as my children give me grace and both always forgive me when I ask.
So yes, I am settling into motherhood and loving it!
Have you settled into motherhood? When did you settle into motherhood?