Top Secrets to Finding Love in a Perfectly Imperfect Marriage this Valentines Day and beyond for every married couple. Marriage doesn’t have to be perfect, but perfectly imperfect.
Happy Valentine’s Day to the perfectly imperfect couples out there!
Happy Valentine’s Day to the couples that are beaten down from everyday life and sometimes aren’t connecting.
Happy Valentine’s Day to the couples that struggle but, know the calling God has in their lives together.
Happy Valentine’s Day to the couple that is hanging on for dear life but, know leaving is not the answer.
For all of the couples that are still kicking it and wondering what tomorrow will bring, yesterday was for you. This is real life with real issues people!
Perfectly Imperfect Marriages
No relationship is perfect nor will it ever be.
God knows Chris and I will never be a Hallmark card, nor do I ever want to be. Because, what we have is bigger than a Hallmark card, what we have……. is God right in the middle of us, guiding our every move.
My friends you are not alone.
If you feel you are alone in this journey of marriage and the fairytale has ended, you are not alone! Everyone goes through it, whether they want to admit it or not. Be still and know that God is right there and He’s got your back. Always!
When Chris and I first married, I knew that God had a hand in it. (You can read more of the story here.) It is so unexplainable, I just knew without a shadow of a doubt. Both of us had been through relationships before and all had turned sour. We both had been burned and we had even done some of the burning to others. We were scarred and broken. We had no idea the mending that needed to be done. Eleven years later we are still mending. Mending from past relationships and even mending from the things we have done to each other.
My point of this post is this……
No marriage is perfect.
We will be forever mending.
We will be forever learning.
We will be forever perfectly imperfect.
It was the day we finally came to that conclusion that our marriage really started. The day we realized our marriage will never be perfect was the day we started really living, really leaning on each other, and finally seeing what marriage was all about.
We are all broken.
When two people come together in a marriage they are bringing their baggage, hopes, dreams and brokenness with them. Don’t let everyday life pull you down. You have your Creator on your side! You have your biggest cheerleader on your side.
God’s Plan is the Best Plan
God brought you together for a reason.
Don’t miss the little things and let life pass you by. Enjoy each other, one day the kids will be gone and you will find yourself with this person you married years before. Will you know him or will you be strangers to each other? You choose.
1 Corinthains 13:4-13
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
You may have read that and thought, “Really, Mandi? My marriage is nothing like that! Our love is nothing like that!” Dig a little deeper. I promise you, it is more than you know.
I challenge you to make some changes in your marriage.
I do not claim to be an expert, just a woman who seeks God with my partner in crime and even though everyday life gets in the way, I wouldn’t want to go through life without him.
So, I challenge you to….
- Put God first in your marriage. Find a daily devotional you can do together. A daily devotional doesn’t have to take an hour, just five minutes out of your day. In whatever stage of life you are in, you can find five minutes.
- Listen to each other. I mean, really listen to each other. Engage in conversation like you used to. I know the kids are loud and it is hard to talk without being interrupted but, make a point after the kids are in bed to just chat with each other and REALLY listen!
- Turn off the TV. The TV can be your worst enemy some days. I love snuggling up on the couch and turning on Netflix but, the days you are really wanting to zone out are the days you probably need to talk. What better person to talk to than your best friend and partner in crime.
- Agree to disagree. Oh…… boy….. this one is really HARD. FOR. ME. In my mind I am always right so, if he disagrees HOW. DARE. HIM. I mean seriously…. Okay, yeah I need to work on that one! 🙂
- Never go to bed mad. I absolutely used to hate this advice and here is why: I used to think it wasn’t really that big of a deal. Who cares if I sleep mad? Well, it kinda does…… I don’t know about you but, I can’t sleep very well while I am mad. I don’t rest well at all and I always wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Makes for a grumpy day the next day and I am still mad! I never miraculously wake up happy. I am always still angry. Again I say, it doesn’t miraculously go away!
- Work on yourself. Bring your best to your marriage. Get into the word of God on your own. Work on things God ask you to work on and humble yourself to fix them. Dive into the word of God daily to see what He ask of you.
- Pray with each other. This is different from number 1. This is two people coming to God and praying together, not separately but, together. Not just reading the scripture but, PRAYING!
- Feed yourself with positive. I say this in almost every single post. The world is full of negative, so you have to work harder on feeding your brain full of positivity. Here are a few things I do to stay on the positive side (most days ;-)).
Now go hug that partner of yours even though they drive you crazy! Tell him why you feel in love with him, reminisce the good ol days, then look at the pile of dishes your family just made for lunch and tackle it together.
Each season in life brings challenges, vow to tackle them together and watch God work. We will never be perfect, so stop trying and enjoy the ride!
Happy Valentine’s Day to the perfectly imperfect couples everywhere!!!!
You are not alone!
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Extra Side Note: So, listen if “The One” hasn’t come into your life, do not fret.
I promise you, God has a plan. Chris and I got married later than most of my friends and his friends. We are the “older” parents to three little ones. 🙂 But, that’s okay! Makes life interesting! Don’t give up!
Until next time…..
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