I have them, you have them, we all have them, whether we like it or not. Insecurities are traps made by the enemy to keep us in bondage. To keep us far away from God and far away from the plan God has for us and our lives. My insecurities have run deep in the past, deeper than I want to admit honestly! But, I am going to admit them on the world-wide web, as God as my witness. There are some days I have wanted to hide under the covers, because they have been so bad, but other days I can sing my testimony from the roof tops. As you know, if you have been reading here for any amount of time, I’m sure you have noticed that my husband and I are big on testimonies. You have one, I have one, some big, some small, some we want to forget and some that haven’t yet ended. We joke that my husband and I have big testimonies, because we have big mouths. (It’s probably true!) We both believe, we need to use what we have learned through our struggles to help others. With that being said, the enemy uses my insecurities to keep me from doing just that.
Those who know me, know that I can be somewhat of an awkward person. What’s that you say? Come again? Yes, you read right, a little awkward. (Did you notice the sarcasm?) Get me into a room with a lot of people and I tend to get a little overwhelmed. When I do talk to people I get a little uncomfortable when there is a split-second of silence so, I may say things that are rather weird or off subject, probably leaving the other person thinking, “What is she talking about?” or “this lady is coo coo cochew!” I will gab it up when it’s just you and I, one on one convos go a lot easier. Trust me!
Or how about, unless I know the person very well I’m a little awkward over the phone, because I cannot see facial expressions or make eye contact. Again, if there are silences I say weird things! I do not like calling to make doctor appointments but, I have to. I have three kids, it comes with the territory!
Or how about this one, when someone cries, even though I am a very compassionate person, I never know what to do. Do I touch them? Do I not touch them? Do I look at them? Do I turn away?
It’s definitely safe to say my big insecurity has been awkwardness!
The reason I say all of this is because, I know that God has a plan for me, insecurities and all! I could easily sit in my house and never come out but, what fun would that be? Seriously?! What fun? I wouldn’t give anyone anything to talk about with my “crazy sayings”. But, more importantly I would not give people a look into my imperfections, to see that I don’t have it all together. But, I am trying to do the will of God.
Honestly, I started this blog because I knew I had a story to tell but, I had a hard time finding my voice and how to use it. I finally found it and the “awkwardness” insecurity is slowly going away. It’s an everyday struggle but, I do it! Have you learned how to conquer your insecurities? Have you found your voice? What part of life are you missing out on because, of your insecurities? Is God calling you to make a difference but, you are insecure?
It doesn’t have to be a blog, or being a motivational speaker. You could find your voice working in the soup kitchen or showing love to a stranger. Whatever your voice may be, God gave it to you, USE IT!
You don’t have to live with insecurities! You can conquer and overcome them! Here are a few things I do when I am dealing with insecurities:
- Get into the word of God everyday.
- Remember the promises of God.
- Give yourself a pep talk.
- Remember that you are God’s child, not the devil’s.
- God would never call you to do anything that would embarrass or harm you.
- You were made to do GREAT things! Now go out and do them!
(By the way, if you see me at church be prepared! Church is a huge room of people! Awkward! ;-))
Until next time…..