I don’t know about you, but our tooth fairy blows. She is very unorganized, she never has any cash and she is terribly cheap. She never does what she says she’s going to do and quite frankly I am sick of it!
Here are 5 things you can do if that stinky tooth fairy leaves you with a mess she expects you to clean up.
Tooth Fairy Drama and 5 Ways to Cope
- When She Forgets To Leave Money Under The Pillow: Oh, this is a classic tooth fairy faux pas. (insert eye roll) She is forever doing this at our house. We just explain that the tooth fairy sometimes needs to be reminded that she needs to stop by our house. We the explain that at 10pm if she hasn’t come by, dad and I usually call. But, we do forget to call sometimes. I know, I know what you are thinking. Why are you covering for her, Mandi? Well, I mean….someone has to take one for the team. Besides, she knows she owes me!
- When She Doesn’t Leave Enough Money: This one is hard! Just because the tooth fairy is cheap doesn’t mean you are! Get yo butt up, head to the ATM and make sure you give that baby some more money. Make sure the kiddo knows that ol’ cheap butt tooth fairy blows, but the $20 bill came from you. Remember, one day they have the choice of which nursing home you go into. Start buying them off at a young age!
- When She Accidentally Wakes Your Child Up In The Middle Of The Night: Doesn’t she know that it took you forever to get this child to fall asleep? (again insert eye roll) You have 2 choices here: You could go into an hour long explanation that you yourself are the tooth fairy’s helper. Or you could brush it off and tell your child you just heard a knock on the door from Santa and that she better get to sleep before she blows another chance of getting presents. We have a winner! I think I will take the later of the two!
- When She Spreads Glitter On Your Brand New Rug: Damn Be-otch! Need I say more?!
- When She Misses Her Middle Of The Night Appointment: This one is tricky, but it can be done with a little determination. If you have no determination, don’t even try this one, cause you will screw it up. Just explain that the tooth fairy is very busy (and she blows) and to leave his tooth under the pillow again to try for another night.
- When She Leaves An I Owe You: This one is rough, dude! This leaves you in an awkward situation. How dare her! It leaves me to wonder if I can do this with my own bills. Next mortgage payment will read: I owe you! Thanks for understanding! This month has blown and I have no money.
Stay tuned for when the Easter Bunny and Santa sucks too!
Truth bombs by Mandi is brought to you by Real Life Experiences. Because, sometimes life just blows!
Before you leave, make sure you check out my Instagram Story confession below. Our tooth fairy blows too, not just yours. And check me out on Instagram too! I love sharing my shameful stories, so you can feel better about your own life. 🙂
Until Next Time…